tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post4191705051531953260..comments2023-12-15T03:08:26.097-08:00Comments on THE CITIZEN ROSEBUD: Visible Monday: Pin-Up or Shut Upcitizen rosebudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12038740885720827086noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-24031774505653747852013-08-09T15:51:04.539-07:002013-08-09T15:51:04.539-07:00Dear Bella, finally catching up after a long while...Dear Bella, finally catching up after a long while, coming back to say thank you for this courageously honest post which sparked so many incredible and ongoing international conversations. Echoing what so many have already said - Sheila, Judith, Wendy, Curtise, Lynne, Melanie, Jean, Emalina - xoxoxoAmber of Butane Anvilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17085975055424100573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-40260446651966361852013-08-01T01:36:32.659-07:002013-08-01T01:36:32.659-07:00Fascinating to read this post shortly after readin...Fascinating to read this post shortly after reading this piece from a younger blogger: http://hopeave.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/how-to-talk-to-your-daughter-about-her-body/ . While I don't have a daughter so can't follow her wise advice literally, I realized that I need to re-train my own thoughts about my body. Rather than pinup shots, I think I will be celebrating how well my body is doing in terms of strength, endurance, ability and vitality - and I will be wearing the bright colors to celebrate. Congrats on your honesty and your courage!Teresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995777558997885790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-83197627046479785342013-08-01T00:24:32.794-07:002013-08-01T00:24:32.794-07:00I've just read this post after reading Curtise...I've just read this post after reading Curtise's also amazing post on the subject. Thanks to you both for bringing it into the open.Indigo Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370412819941447206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-263062119376833192013-07-28T11:52:46.332-07:002013-07-28T11:52:46.332-07:00You're not alone Bella. I struggle with this t...You're not alone Bella. I struggle with this too. My husband loves my body and I know I'm lucky, but I don't always feels sexy or want to dress in a traditional sexy way. I still wear short skirts and bikinis, but I feel less and less comfortable in them. It might just be that I gained a little weight recently and I don't feel as good as I once did in body hugging clothes. Or maybe I'm trying to figure out what is sexy at 40 something. Maybe it's OK to say that what's sexy at 20 isn't as sexy at 40. Maybe we find our own sexy? Maybe that sexy is a bit more covered and more mysterious. Maybe it's OK not to want to be a pinup anymore. Maybe...Heather Fonsecahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15518594383107751403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-70784856113403130462013-07-23T05:00:25.791-07:002013-07-23T05:00:25.791-07:00I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to fin...I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to find this brilliant post. Bella I applaud you for your honesty and self enquiry. You've been really brave to write about a topic so personal and conflicted for you. I hope that by writing this you found a way, even just for a moment, to step back and view yourself from a distance, as we do, to see clearly all the beauty and sexiness that we see. I love those pin up photos of you and the bathing lady! Perhaps when you voice your concerns you're also saying something about your relationship, and how it might benefit from a bit of positive attention, when you talk about the 2 of you failing to value your great bits?<br />I agree with Melanie, that sexiness, while it may have nowadays become confused with showing flesh, is actually nothing of the sort: it is a way of carrying yourself, an attitude, a self belief. You clearly have and employ all these qualities in abundance, it's just maybe as you say you need to deliberately channel them more into your acceptance of your lovely physicality. There are so many ways of celebrating your physical presence without bearing flesh if it doesn't feel right, just be kind to yourself.Flora Crufthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07385768002996279526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-5486023710131663502013-07-23T04:51:46.406-07:002013-07-23T04:51:46.406-07:00I am 51 and dress how I like now. I have been ins...I am 51 and dress how I like now. I have been inspired to do so by reading blogs like, Helga's, Vix's, Desiree's, and Sarah's and many more. Sod anyone that says we have to dress a certain way at a certain age. I don't know how a 51 year old is supposed to dress but I sure as hell aren't ready for beige and powder blue or to fade quietly into the back ground. Fantastic post!!Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315638690434873691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-82407979688363551472013-07-22T15:00:28.922-07:002013-07-22T15:00:28.922-07:00Throughly enjoyed this post Bella Q. Only sorry I ...Throughly enjoyed this post Bella Q. Only sorry I missed it last week! You are adorable. xoxoxoGabriala Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01098826724192232767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-11228673754230811352013-07-22T14:40:07.872-07:002013-07-22T14:40:07.872-07:00First of all " This isn't helped by a boy...First of all " This isn't helped by a boyfriend who is quick to point out my flaws and flaps" -- WHAT? I don't want to go off on someone who love but if we were BFFs I'd be asking you what exactly makes him lovable.<br /><br />Also, girly, you SO don't dress the stereotypical 48 now -- the 48 of Father Knows Best, which is what people seem to think 48 is -- so why not take it just a little further? :-) Be loud and proud!WendyBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15578678568161906538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-19872599741860091252013-07-22T13:31:10.843-07:002013-07-22T13:31:10.843-07:00Great post. I too have been assaulted by such doub...Great post. I too have been assaulted by such doubts about my own body. I am almost 36 and sometimes I seem to still think I am in my 20's, when it comes to picking clothes- nothing too revealing without a pair of tights on as my cellulitis is best kept under wraps - but I still have the impulse of buying little shorts or skirts and it's starting to feel wrong... I'm at a stage that I really don't know what to do. Thank you for this post, it makes me think that I should just cut the crap and wear whatever I feel like!Mrs. Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13483179501424700390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-83877212855863691252013-07-21T22:23:22.645-07:002013-07-21T22:23:22.645-07:00My dear YOU are a true style icon.... you always i...My dear YOU are a true style icon.... you always inspire me to dig a little deeper... and style my life truer. Much thanks!!<br /><br />xoxo<br />TameraTamera Beardsleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00855427513744644731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-54912037618622287962013-07-21T00:00:24.117-07:002013-07-21T00:00:24.117-07:00Something just dawned on me. I don't mind dres...Something just dawned on me. I don't mind dressing according to society's expectations because it makes it easier to communicate as people feel more at ease. If you are dressed in a non-conformative way you interact with people in a totally different way: usually about you being different and about the admiration people have for your uniqueness (or not..). Which is also nice and I sometimes do that too. But I prefer the conversations on any old topic without too much distraction. I love interacting with people. Sexyness is now for my husband. Not for attracting a mate anymore hahaha.No Fear of Fashionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10999161414598296313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-56561833194797770842013-07-20T23:44:19.503-07:002013-07-20T23:44:19.503-07:00Well, this post of yours stirred up quite a conver...Well, this post of yours stirred up quite a conversation. You told my story when I was in my forties. That is still young enough. But when you really get older somehow it doesn't fit anymore. I saw my face in the mirror over a mini skirt and I did not like it. Which is my criterium. I have to like it. And perhaps that is dominated by society's opinion, but I choose not to be critizised all the time. Dn't feel comfortable with that. And before you post a nude picture... remember how you would feel if that photo was printed on the cover of a national paper. Because that is what internet can do.<br />Love you dear. And tell your boyfriend he will get the better of you if you feel praised.No Fear of Fashionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10999161414598296313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-55194052104471612982013-07-20T13:42:47.730-07:002013-07-20T13:42:47.730-07:00Hi Sweetie.
Ah, the courage!! To push the butt...Hi Sweetie. <br /><br />Ah, the courage!! To push the button and broach the sensitive topic. I have to concur with Melanie, and add my voice to the chorus that proclaims "sexy" is highly subjective and limiting. Don't let anyone or anything tell you that your beautiful, passionate self is somehow lacking. Your courage to question and expose your vulnerability only makes you "sexier" in my mind. Play with clothes, wear whatever you want, change your mind, and above all be gentle with yourself. Plus, you can always ask us if you need some affirmation. That's easy!!<br /><br />Love you madly. .....J. Jean at www.drossintogold.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01089424590056521268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-70269497674526305142013-07-20T09:09:33.260-07:002013-07-20T09:09:33.260-07:00Wow. Good on you. This is an amazing post. There s...Wow. Good on you. This is an amazing post. There seems to be two major streams of blogger that I look at: the young and fashion conscious and the older and brave and amazing. While I love to see the beauty of the former, I much prefer the character, confidence, courage, drama, excitement and all-out-slap-in-the-face-to-conformity of the latter. I hate that society is brainwashed into a certain ideal of beauty or sexiness, but I think there are plenty of people more open minded or even just focused on looking at things in a different way. Ultimately it is about what makes you feel good (even though sometimes it takes, for me, a few nervous, shaky steps when I first step out in something 'not standard' and out of my comfort zone). And I am sorry to say this because I hardly know you, but that man does not deserve you. That is never okay. Thanks for this post.List Addicthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18132755413044179212noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-43633903930718302102013-07-19T23:40:55.124-07:002013-07-19T23:40:55.124-07:00**I just don't care what's sexy.** That&#...**I just don't care what's sexy.** That's what I meant to type! Great post Bella xoxoxoxoxooxPull Your Socks Up!https://www.blogger.com/profile/14147274267016718793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-33597687631522139242013-07-19T23:39:43.446-07:002013-07-19T23:39:43.446-07:00Jeeeeeez I'm only just catching up here and go...Jeeeeeez I'm only just catching up here and gosh, thank you so much!!! I'm blushing that you think I'm sexaaay darling :). It's funny but I have a thing about the general idea of what both women and men think makes a woman sexy. In my experience, women have been brain-washed to believe that what makes a woman sexy, is what they think men believe is sexy. It's very strange to me that so many women follow a man's lead on what they think they're supposed to wear or look like to get attention. Recently I read some cock-n-bull story written by a man saying that males don't like women who wear too much make up, or wake up wearing make up, or show their facial blemishes. I'm proud to say that I've always followed my heart and worn what I like to see in the mirror. If that means a fecking PACK of gaudy make up, insane "ugly" wedges, whatever ... I wear it. I just don't what's sexy. Just what makes me feel good. And that's sexilicious. xoxoxoxoPull Your Socks Up!https://www.blogger.com/profile/14147274267016718793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-14188558227202983692013-07-18T02:58:23.473-07:002013-07-18T02:58:23.473-07:00Brava Bella! You are a beautiful, sexy woman and d...Brava Bella! You are a beautiful, sexy woman and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you aren't getting the support you need, then you need to make changes (sorry to be blunt but I would dump a man who didn't appreciate my aging body.) I'm 53.5 and have been posting pics of myself in swimsuits on FB mainly because my friends like the get-ups. But the impetus for this is my husband, he goes wild & wants a pic, lumps bumps jelly roll pancake breasts and sagging bum, the whole package. After nearly 23 years I'm lucky to have this, but even if I didn't, I'd still be proud -- I've lived a full life and it shows. Look at Helen Mirren, not a perfectly fit body, but damn sexy! I hope to be like her at that age! Baci! Idee Fixehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12679508229122634978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-80330576040440030552013-07-17T22:21:22.663-07:002013-07-17T22:21:22.663-07:00You so often look GLORIOUS, that I'm surprised...You so often look GLORIOUS, that I'm surprised looking merely sexy concerns you at all. You make an adorable pin-up in the most classic way. That you wear shorts so well is to your credit, and you always look much younger than your years.<br /><br />I've been thinking quite a bit lately about HOW I think about ageing, and have a partial blog written about it, but I didn't think about worrying about whether I'm sexy. That's about my frame of mind, and not anything I feel the least inclined to try to display. I'm getting pretty old, but I'm not yet dead. But I hate feeling obliged to meet some standard of sexiness at any age, and am finally, perhaps, a resentful old feminist about it.<br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12630135395645059302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-87954878996359944292013-07-17T16:34:15.146-07:002013-07-17T16:34:15.146-07:00An amazing post Bella and I love those pictures of...An amazing post Bella and I love those pictures of you. I think you look fabulous! And seriously, how are you 48? How is this possible? As for looking sexy, I hear ya, this stuff makes me cringe. I am working what's still looking good after 43 years and 2 kids: legs (in jeans to make them look loooooong), gloss on the lips, and a ton of hair spray to fluff out the hair.<br /><br />And btw, I think you have a super sexy mind to go with that super sexy bod! XO, JillJillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18062587289685203227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-44183432812140769392013-07-17T13:43:12.106-07:002013-07-17T13:43:12.106-07:00What Serene said so elegantly I second.
I loved ...What Serene said so elegantly I second. <br /><br />I loved this post. So interesting to read all the replies as well.<br /><br />I wouldn't hang out with a guy that was constantly pointing out my flaws. Society does that enough, no need to get it at home too.<br /><br />I've found that every year that passes I feel differently about my body. Last year I wanted all my skirts and dresses shortened. This year I want them longer. <br /><br />I hope to always hang onto what makes me feel sexy and desirable since that has always been a huge part of me. <br /><br />You always look wild and sexy in a "rage against the machine" way to me. <br /><br />bisous<br />Suzanne<br />Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03891315017218863243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-59535210952657940922013-07-17T06:26:29.598-07:002013-07-17T06:26:29.598-07:00You express very honestly, brave and well and you&...You express very honestly, brave and well and you're as pretty as a pin up as a grunge Queen as a ...etcUlla-Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15583954716357906569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-41107493456596908882013-07-16T22:08:41.831-07:002013-07-16T22:08:41.831-07:00You're brave and beautiful and deserve a boyfr...You're brave and beautiful and deserve a boyfriend who celebrates your fabulousness. Ditto to what Melanie said too!! You inspire, you stimulate and you rock!!Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04723360304687997220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-69390665596913195762013-07-16T22:07:57.331-07:002013-07-16T22:07:57.331-07:00A. MY bf thinks you're pretty sexy, for whatev...A. MY bf thinks you're pretty sexy, for whatever it's worth. And I agree. B. I think it isn't necessarily about being "fit", as it's about being true to yourself and having confidence. I'm not "fit" and I will keep wearing short shorts and other things that make me happy until I don't feel confident in those things anynore. I like this idea - pin up or shut up - and I will think about doing my own.MaggleBishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13184116728566243694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-1484715539315475562013-07-16T20:01:31.437-07:002013-07-16T20:01:31.437-07:00First, dearest Bella, I'm a more than little c...First, dearest Bella, I'm a more than little concerned by your SO highlighting perceived flaws rather than your actual glorious beauty. You are a stunning woman, and I would love for you to see you as I do. Totes smokin'. Beautiful legs. Terrific curves. Bedroom eyes. I'd want you to be my girlfriend if I was looking for one.<br /><br />I've been thinking about "age rules" things on my own blog recently. When I turned 40, I stopped wearing shorter skirts and oddly enough, sleeveless dresses unless a jacket or cardi was worn on top. I somehow convinced myself that I had old arms (whatever those are) and old pasty white legs. Lately, I've been telling myself to LIVE, revel in what I have, such that it is, because even though my body is 50 and looks 50 especially undressed, it's still my body and I'm lucky to have the use of all my limbs and I'm lucky that sometimes men still whistle and honk. Which I should find demeaning, but honestly, who doesn't need a little ogling every now and then?<br /><br />You are beautiful. Cynthia is a Goddess. Desiree is the carefree sexy I aspire to.<br /><br />I love you so much,<br />LynneThe Goodwill Fangirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05845712888337339929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6306737686495027327.post-65347560855987111652013-07-16T16:32:27.525-07:002013-07-16T16:32:27.525-07:00YOU are gorgeous! YOU are adorable! YOU are rad, b...YOU are gorgeous! YOU are adorable! YOU are rad, baby! ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com