THE CITIZEN INDEX

Friday, July 22, 2011

outfit post: My Other Life

That woman she’s got eyes that shine.
Like a pair of stolen polished dimes.
She asked to  dance I said it’s fine.
My head and heart are spinning. Not even sure if there's one particular reason. But I'm going to tell you: I want to step off. Just for a little bit. To catch my breath and hear my own thoughts. I'm dizzy. 

Too much on my plate? Maybe too many plates. Spinning. And now it seems the opportunities being heaped up on said plate feel a tad overwhelming + I'm caught in some Dervish undertow of letting everybody down.

Afraid of disappointing. YOU, for one. Whatever you think I am, or need me to be, I need a little elbow room to be true to size-  a real life person who has her own way of seeing things, of taking life in. And failing.

I'm not always equipped with a pithy remark, or the right attitude. I get hot, feel petty and melt down. I have zero intentions of painting myself into a portrait of perfection or airing out my foibles like laundry drying on a line- no spin cycle on this model- let me make myself clear. 

One thing I am clear on- no matter appearances there is always more to it. An invisible world that spins over the one you see- the other life. As someone once told me: there's 3 sides to every story. Which I take to mean that there's never one way of looking at things. 

Half full. Half empty. The same cup comes with a multiple choice. 

One refill please. 

And let's make it a double.

Now Wearing: 
  • hearts for eyes
  • d.i.y. blue t-shirt shrug
  • heart pin- courtesy of Crimson and Clover
  • cotton floral sundress- Target
  • Let Them Eat Cake, textile shoulder bag, Krazy Mary's
  • d.i.y. yellow lace bracelet
  • heart on sleeve
  • unromantic grey socks
  • my new clogs from Target

37 comments:

Franca said...

I loved this post! Hope it all settles in for you soon and take as much time as you need, my dear! we'll love you whatever!

Anonymous said...

Rosebud--I can only imagine...

but in the meantime I'll admire the shrug!

A BRIT GREEK said...

Beautiful post Bella and looking so pretty in floral!
I hope you have the best weekend ever!!!
x.o.x.o

FASHION TALES said...

I miss you dear Bella, I am finally on my way back home and have not blogged in a while, but it was a fun/needed break. I'm wishing you peace. May the feast on your plates be lessened in a good way, so that you may have time to exhale.

*Also,loving these beautiful outfit shots...

Sara Kristiina said...

Lovely post! The print in your skirt is adorable!

Kimi said...

Bella, we love you exactly as you are. As they say in high school yearbooks - don't change for anyone!

Also: that DIY tee shirt shrug/bolero thingy?? LOVE!

Unknown said...

Bella! YOU GOT THIS! You're where you are doing what you're doing just being you! YOU GOT THIS! Big Vintage Hug! ~Serene

Please may I? said...

Love it!

Stunning dress Hun.

X x

Unknown said...

Bella this is a beautiful post, because it's very honest! Sometimes life can be very overwhelming or busy, and we've just got to take a break from some things (I, myself, am taking a blog break).

Nonetheless, you look gorgeous in these photos! I adore the mixed prints in this dress and the socks (at just the right length) with sandals.

Unknown said...

That t-shirt/shrug/jacket is fabulous!

I understand your plight. Opportunity or burden? Hard to define. Some days it's both, from one minute to the next.

Have more coffee - it can't hurt!

Stacy Estep said...

Lovely post. I know that overwhelmed feeling...even when you're overwhelmed with good things, it's still overwhelming. Also, I was obsessed with that song a few months ago. :)

Unknown said...

Bella my love, I hope things settle down into place for you, and soon. Take the time you need, just breath.

Something a teacher taught me year ago, and I use it all the time: when things seem like too much, or you feel like your going to burst...pause, and concentrate on your breathing. Only think about that, how it sounds, feels, tastes, smells. You will feel not-so-stressed, it really does help!

Tons of love to you!

Anupriya DG said...

I like your DIY T-shirt shrugs.....maybe I'll try out one myself someday???
And I'm sure you'll sort out your over-piled plates one by one.....& then only the sweet taste of success will linger on... :)

gabrielle said...

you write so beautifully... and you never disappoint.

Lisa-Marie said...

Lady, everyone needs quite time sometimes. The only thing I expect you to be is you. You be who you are, and we'll be here reading as and when. :)

P.s. THAT DRESS IS GORGEOUS.

Jill said...

Bella baby, you never fail to disappoint! Take a day (or two) for yourself to replenish your own well of inspiration. I always love you in the heart glasses. I know you can do it all, just do it in your own time and in your own way. You are so loved honey!

GRIT AND GLAMOUR said...

I know how you feel, honey. Take a breath and take a break! We'll be here! You're not going to disappoint anyone by taking care of you. Put those plates down and rest.

And let me just say that your DIY tee shrug is stupendous. Next blasted tee I get, I'm doing THAT. Brill, darling.

The Closet Shopper said...

Wow. Bella, I totally relate to this. Just remember to breathe in and out. All is well.

Much love to you!

This outfit is fantastic.

xoxo,
Tracy

DeniseAngela said...

Just found your blog.......like your style!

Kristy Elena said...

hello my love! i can definitely understand the sentiments you talk about here. i think we all have our moments of feeling this way. you are very eloquent in how you express it though. =) i wish we lived closer so we could grab some coffee and gab.

i think this outfit is just darling and i am loving your hair as well. you look absolutely darling. sweet, summery and fun but completely bella, 100 %.

i hope you catch your breath. =)

JTWisdom said...

Hey Bella,

I feel you, it can seem a bit much sometimes so it's okay. Giving you a hug.
Sorry I haven't been by lately work has been busy and I needed to get some things done.
You look so darling in your outfit, love the floral in your dress.

Here's to taking it easy and relaxing!

Comtesse de ferveur said...

What a great and true post. I will take the brilliant three sides quote away from it, and so much more xx

WendyB said...

"Hearts for eyes" -- I like that.

I think there's more than three sides to every story!

Pearl Westwood said...

Life is one big spinning plate for sure! Those sunnies are super x

Unknown said...

Hi my beautiful Bella!
It's OK to have a 'soak' cycle ;)
I have them a lot lately!

I am so very glad we have met and wish you a wonderful weekend and 'let us down'? never!
I love you for who you are, not what you do :)
You Rock!

xXx
Reva

Stephanie Loudmouth said...

Gorgeous dress... you know I'm a huge Target fan!

Darlin, do what you gotta do for YOU. I know pressure's flying at you from everywhere, but remember to put yourself (and your sanity) first. We're here for you!

The Foolish Aesthete said...

I often think that one of the wonderful things about blogs is what is not revealed ... There's always more than meets the eye! xxx

Heather Fonseca said...

I read this quote somewhere, I think it was Winston Churchill who said it. "When you're going through hell, keep going." It sounds like life is crazy right now, but it'll calm down eventually. Just be sure to pamper yourself when it does calm down!

Gina said...

I'm really diggin' the floral dress and DIY lace bracelet. Very cute combination. Oh, and the shades of course. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, Bella, I can relate... trying to do so much at one moment is exhausting.. i hope that you can find a way to balance this world's energy out in a way where you feel liberated and stress-free, of coarse. You look dazzling in your floral dress and your skin looks mighty flawless..

enjoy your day my dear, and I will be waiting patiently as you unload your stresses.

Helga said...

Hey,it's a hard job being as fabulous as you,darling,and you gotta take a breather once in a while and re charge!!!
Looking HOT,by the way!
XXX
I'll have a double for you...

paulawannacracker said...

Absolutely love your "genuine" writing....

Beautifully Invisible said...

What?! You mean your human after all?! HA! Thank you for sharing this, love. I have been a bit removed myself lately so i am not sure what is going on with you, but from this post I have to say it sounds exciting and wonderful!
Take all the time you need - we'll be here!

My Heart Blogged said...

Go breathe, and enjoy that California sunshine honey! You look amazing in this outfit.

Marissa said...

We all feel like this at one time or another. Please don't ever worry about disappointing us! It's just not possible. Take a breather, slow down. We'll be here whenever you get back. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh beautiful Bella, you take all the time you need. I reacently took a bit of an internet break because of all my spinning plates, I too worried, but really after a breather you'll feel refreshed and you often need to take that breather and a step back in order to appreciate and evaluate all the things you have.

We'll be right here :).

glam.spoon said...

go recharge my dear! the first step is recognizing that you need it.