Monday, January 28, 2013

Vanity VS Sanity: This is NOT a Fashion Post

This is NOT a Fashion Post: Bella Heart-to-Hearts about Feeling Over Forty

Let's talk, friends. Not about BEING over forty years old. About FEELING over forty years old. 

I AM feeling it- and I'm going to be blunt with you- sometimes it doesn't feel so good. Or empowering, or the awesome-est. Sometimes, on some days it feels shitty. My body aches, and my joints hurt, and I can visibly see signs of aging: sagging skin, baggy eyes, age spots, grey hairs, and the ever constant thickening middle. I'm no Madonna, Demi Moore or Helen Mirren. Nobody is saying wowzahs at my bathing suit pictures, well, at least in polite company.

That said, I've got a good point to make in all this gripe talk. So bear with me a bit. I am of that certain age, where one doesn't have the shine or glamor of one's youth- I am banged up, dented and my history shows its marks. My age shows. Perhaps I should distract myself, and you by showing you all the new things I bought, my newest boots, or purse, or coat. But under the new bags, or boot, are the same tell-tale signs of grey hairs, crow's feet and other signs of gravity that betray my membership into the +40 club.


But here's the good thing: regardless of my age or my looks, I am still ME. The me who likes stripes and plaids and polka dots, who loves the pairing of brown boots with a grey dress, who prefers odd accessories and quirky styles. Who cuts her own hair, in spite of the fact that she's been saying that she's growing it out, FOR OVER TEN YEARS NOW, and has recently hacked it to its near last breath. The "I" who rocked her all black micro mini/crop top with docs (and big pull-back hair and Sade red lipstick) in the eighties is still alive and well, but thankfully has grown a sense of modesty. My crooked smile, my now chubby cheeked grin still expresses "me." And while I struggle with the hardball fact of aging, I still want to celebrate me in all my decades, all my phases. 

So I'm not going to pretend my outfits worn are ones like those worn by fashion plates, or that I could double as a model off-duty. Nobody does a double take at me or my outfits when I enter a room. No big brand is a calling for me to collab with their next blogger/brand campaign. I would even venture to say, that me, and this blog are nowhere near "fashion relevant." Maybe it is at this point where I could stop taking pictures of myself and stop posting online.


But I'm not going to stop. Because all of me, the ageless self, and the ageing body both agree: Style is eternal- and you don't need to be a born beauty to celebrate it. What you do need is the urge to express, and to dress accordingly. So I celebrate my chubby little face, full of its inevitable age spots and full jaw line, I'm going to celebrate the wrinkly hands, the thickening ankles and the double hourglass. 


I want to share with you MY style, not that my style is particularly note worthy, but by doing so, I'd like to give you permission to share YOUR style. With yourself. With me. With your friends, your family, your community. You don't need a blog,  you just need to dress how you'd like, and share it by going out, with your favorite purse, your loveliest shoes, and your best dress. Whatever you like. Just how you like it.

Just have fun. And be yourself. At whatever your age.
The sum is greater than its parts: 80% Thrifted. 100% Rosebud
Now Wearing: 
  • vintage 60s cardigan, gifted
  • the Carolyn c/o Karina Dresses
  • vintage leather/brass belt, thrifted
  • thrifted rings
  • tights, similar HERE
  • brown leather boots, thrifted


Linking to the fabulous Patti for Visible Monday

87 comments:

Déjà Pseu said...

Great post, Bella. This pretty much says it all: Just have fun. And be yourself. At whatever your age.

Lazy Madonna said...

Well said! I've struggled, over the year, with what's-the-pointedness and with rediscovering my (once vibrant) style that's gotten buried in the past few years of parenting and being busy and getting older. Back on that journey again and finally ready to reclaim me!

But thanks - your post is just what I needed to read this morning!

Tanya Lochridge Jewelry said...

I've got 24 years on your 40-year old self & I'm grateful for all the aches & pains & wrinkles & sags. Sure, I would like them to disappear but not at the expense of maiming myself. I also love that I have always had my own style -- good or bad -- it's mine!So while it may seem that way at times...you are definitely not alone in all of this growing old.

That's Not My Age said...

Agree with you and Deja Pseu. And, what's so good about blogging is that women of all ages/sizes/ethnicities are out there for all to see, instead of the limited view we're given in fashion magazines.

Adrienne said...

What a beautiful post Bella! I'm in my mid thirties, and I can relate to everything you said. Now that I am no longet in my 20s, I have a different look about me. Some days it can be a downer, but mostly it is cool. I think you have a great style and beauty!

Adrienne
What Lola Wants

Patti said...

Brava, Bella! I feel this way a lot - or rather I go back and forth between the healthy bits and the cranky, depressing bits. I try to end healthy side up and say: this is still me!

We all get a chance to be young and most of us, the lucky ones, get a chance to be older. Rock on with your fabulous self!

Willowie said...

Thank you!
-Willow

Joni said...

Fantastic post Bella. You are beautiful in and out. Upside down, underneath, over the top, sideways...all the ways!
I'm enjoying style much more now than I ever did as a young'un. Part of it is confidence I suppose. Most of it IDGAS (i don't give a shit)...life is short, meaningful, and should be fun!

amanda tinsley said...

Tough post. You are fantastic, as are those tights!
amanda
http://thingstoholdandstir.blogspot.com/

Trystan L. Bass said...

A-freakin'-men! I feel my age too, & while it's not always fun, it's ME. Which is what I've got :)

Debbi@SheAccessorizesWell said...

Bravo Bella! I love what you had to say. I have times when I wonder if what I do matters, then I realize it matters to me. How I look matters to me and if people think I am overdressed or not dressed well enough, too bad because it is me for me.
So hooray for being ourselves. By the way, fashion post or not, you do look fab. Love the polkadot tights!

Jan Graham-McMillen said...

You little whippersnapper ... it doesn't even begin to get interesting 'till 60. Really.
We all celebrate the Right-Now-Bella! And BTW, YOWZA!!!!
Just saying ...
(Seriously; you are so right in your conclusions. For my part, I think I'm a lot more interesting than I was decades ago ... and Bella, you won't believe how cool you're going to be in the future!)

Crystal Hammon, ABC, MLS said...

Another thing I love about you--your honesty. And, although I think you far underestimate yourself ('cause to me you DO double as as a model--an ON duty one), you certainly nailed the struggle we all face as we try to accept the changes that come.

Thanks for your continued encouragement and inspiration for our labor of love. It takes practice and devotion to do it and it's so nice to have a sister who recognizes that and prods us forward.

P.S. I just discovered cutting my own hair and I'm radically in love with it because I can do EXACTLY what I want with the cut--minus a few skill issues!

thorne garnet said...

In 3 years I'll be 60. Sometimes I say "How did that happen?" Other times it's more like "How cares?" I have no idea what the heck I "should" be looking like and 90% of the time I don't give a crap. Life is way to short to spend time worrying about "aging" and just live. (crap I sound like Mame)

Life is a banquet, and half of those poor sucker are starving to death. (close enough)

Gracey at Fashion for Giants said...

I'm so very happy you're not going to stop. I adore your chubby face and the fact that you are so very YOU. Wonderful post and gray with brown is awesome!

Dina@VintageAdvantage said...

Wonderful post!! I can relate to the millionth degree...aging is not for sissies, as some wise person once said! The trade-off I think, is that in exchange for firm jawline and tiny waist, you get self-confidence, self-knowledge, self-expression, and the ability to say *F*#@ it!" when necessary!
Keep on posting, you fabulous dame :-)

pastcaring said...

Ageing is a given in life (if we are lucky) so there's no use fretting or fighting it, I reckon. And disliking things about one's appearance, or having physical issues, can happen at any age. The things I don't like about how I look are the same as 30 years ago, pretty much, and they are things I can't change. The difference now? I don't care as much, and I have learnt that looking good doesn't depend on being pretty, or a certain size, or age, or what my nose or eyes or thighs look like. It's about confidence and style, and anyone can have those at any age.
You are right to celebrate yourself, ageing and ageless, Bella - long may you continue to do so! xxx

cathy said...

No, please don't stop, I just found your blog and I love it! You have inspired me to start blogging again and challenged me to be more creative when I get dressed in the morning.

gracefully50.com said...

A heartfelt thank you for your honesty.
I think most of us +40 ladies can relate to your feelings....I know I do.
You are fabulous, beautiful, and brave! I'm a big fan!

PinkCheetahVintage said...

I get it and I think many of us here are in the same boat. That being said, I just watched this video here (I had seen earlier versions of the speech, but this is the newest one) and it sort of refreshed me: http://documentarylovers.net/killing-us-softly-4-advertising-women/
I saw it on this young lady's blog (which I now follow): http://documentarylovers.net/killing-us-softly-4-advertising-women/
You are smart, funny, stylish, and a good writer! Love the boots, mid-calf boots are my fav!! Ankle boots are a close second :) Love the brown & gray combo and the ripped tights. I'm actually weird and prefer rips in my tights. I feel too uptight w/o them lolzzzz And the studded leather ring!!!

PinkCheetahVintage said...

woops! Here's the blog link I meant to post: http://kafkaswife.blogspot.com/
:)

Serene McEntyre said...

Oh Bella! This is just brilliant! And you are just brilliant! Aging is humbling for me. But I love how you express yourself here. Inside of all the aging is still me, and you're still you, and we're still fabulous! And probably even more so because now we have a bit of wisdom that our youth didn't have. And just when I though I couldn't love you more you go and post this!! ��

Meghan Edge said...

Wonderful post, and while I'm not over 40 I do relate to some of the things you've said.

Those boots are killer, btw.

The Style Crone said...

Beautifully stated! We are all in different places on the age continuum, but in this together. Yes, have fun and be yourself. We all need encouragement to continue to speak and express our truth.

Kristy said...

Please don't stop blogging! Your blog is great! I don't like the idea of aging either and do plan to fight it every step of the way but I would much rather be where I am now in my 40's than where I was in my 20's. I'm much fitter and healthier and happier now. No way would I change anything! (except maybe a few less wrinkles)

Pam @ over50feeling40 said...

Wise, wise words Bella...such a good post! Since I realized at age 50 I was neglecting me and I began once again to care about me, aging has actually become bearable. Sure, I am human, there are days I am ever aware of my age, but I am so enjoying being me and finding her again!! It has been fun!

Vanessa Innes said...

You are rad and I adore you and your vivaciousness to rock your style and share it, because people do want to see it! You have hundreds of fans and followers and my heart skipped a beat at the line of you maybe not continuing to post! I need this rosiness in my blogfeed, and I need the inspiration to keep dressing the way I do, because you do! and it's awesome and needs to be so!

Beryl said...

Bella, January in Seattle makes everyone feel old. Even my husband, who was born there notices how much better his joints feel in Tulsa. (No kidding, I feel twenty years younger since leaving Seattle.) Hang in there!

Unknown said...

I just read this quote from Lauren Bacall: "I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that."

I hope that beyond fashion (which is so fleeting) and style, I hope that people will first notice the beauty of my life reflected in my face. My crows feet from laughing with friends, and pucker wrinkles from kissing my family. I hope people will see that first.

That is if they're not blinded by all my magnificent bling...

~Sarah of Sarah Hulbert Style

The Foolish Aesthete said...

Brava! Your post resonates with me because I have been feeling the ravages of aging myself, in all directions -- physical, emotional and mental. And I do catch myself looking wistfully at others with the bloom of youth, not only on their cheeks but in their possibilities! I am slowly coming to terms with it and am trying to mine deeper, hoping to find the ores of wisdom and understanding only years - and varied life experiences - can bring.

Keep styling and blogging! - J xxx

any2ndnow.com said...

So. Well. Said. Bella! That's why I blog, too. This blog is about you, your style and we love it! I blog because I want to share who I am, and I am a wife, mother and 40+ woman who is proud of who I am and where I've been.

You are an inspiration, Bella!

xoxo
Cyrillynn

Ofelia said...

Bella, what a beautifully personal and introspective post!
Is so brave of you to put your feelings about yourself here for all of us to read because the more personal your stories, feelings and emotions are, the more universal they are.
Carinos, Ofelia

Lisa said...

Bravo, Bella....this is an important message to us all. And I glad you quickly followed up your..."quit posting online" with a " I'm not going to" so I could let out that little intake of breath I was holding in.

Val Sparkle said...

I avoid blogs that are too superficially perfect. The joy of reading blogs in this community is that these are real people who are grown up, like me (well, grown up in some ways). The imperfections, quirks, and character that accumulate through the years just make life more interesting!

And I like to see what other people are wearing. I love that belt and those rings!

Suzanne Carillo Style Files said...

What a great post. I just had this on my blog today... from I Am Galla...

Life is a glimpse, a very short moment in time. Why live it for anything other than for your self ? A strong sense of self is key. If you have that, you can do anything. I'll leave you with a quote from one who defines the ideal,

"Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long one spent in a miserable way." - Alan Watts

joyatri said...

I hear ya' sister. In my late 40s, I began to miss my youthful appearance. But that nonsense got pushed out of my mind when I got a breast cancer diagnosis. Then I thought 'what's the alternative to growing older?' Well, it's being dead, and I wasn't ready for that. It was after treatment that I became interested in doing this style blog stuff because it became important to me to express myself and have fun. And I want to share the company of other women, like you, who dress as they like, are interesting and quirky and want to have fun.

GreenBean said...

Silly girl. I think I'm older than you and having more fun with fashion than ever. It took me until about the age of 45 before I could part with my punk rock habit of wearing mostly black. Sometimes, people say I look young (especially when I mention that I have two teenage girls), then I usually say, "oh that's just because I act immature." By the way, I live in your neighborhood (Ballard) so we'll probably run into each other some day.

teatimewithtrina said...

So well said. Although as we age we also realize how beautiful people are from the inside as well as the outside.Your post was a great reminder to us all that self expression begins from the inside. Isn't it wonderful when we reach this age, we are longer in our twenties trying every new style, or our thirties when we're trying to define and refine, we are now at the age where we can pretty much do whatever we want. I love it!

Bohemian Chick said...

I love this post, Bella. The truth is that for most of us, as we age our bodies start having problems. I truly didn't expect to have them in my 40's. First I had a bulging disc in my back pressing on my sciatic nerve, so I had surgery for that. Four months after that I was diagnosed with cancer. Another surgery. Along with those came the little things - weight gain, not being able to read small type... those things. It really threw me for a loop for several years. I felt like I had my body had betrayed me and I felt very vulnerable.
But you are right, what we won't lose is our personal style. We know what we believe, what we value... the insecurity of youth gives way to a certainty about who we are. We may not be fresh-faced anymore, but at least we know that we don't have to impress anyone but us.
Thanks for the great post!
Donna

Bohemian Chick said...

oops - I meant to say "I felt my body had betrayed me".
Donna

Chicatanyage said...

Ones 40s can be a transition time. The first awareness that we may not be in the first flush of youth. All I can say from a considerably advanced perspective it only gets better. In my opinion past this point it is possible to loose some of the angst and reach a time of acceptance and gratitude for what you have as opposed to what you have not.

Jean at www.drossintogold.com said...

I think it's safe to say we all struggle. Your post is eloquent about the turmoil, the back and forth of acceptance and the shock of realizing age is making it's inroads. Some days it's not hard to embrace, especially with trailblazers who look wonderful and are living vibrant, abundant lives. Other times it's confusing and hard to believe, since we are still ourselves and remember being so, 15-20-30 years ago.

If you'll allow me to say, from my big-sister perspective, you are gorgeous. I don't know how you were 20 years ago, but I know I love this Bella, right now. I love the wave of her hair, the curve of her eyebrow, the direct gaze as she looks into the camera. Her intensity and intelligence, her commitment to humanity in ways that are uniquely hers. I have no idea what she looked like with a smaller waist; I just know she looks fabulous now. This is the Bella I know and love, the Bella now. I also know I'm not the only one who sees what I see.

edie pop said...

You are a great writer and a great woman Bella!!In few years I'll be forty and I'm fond of all the plus 40 bloggers who teach me how to express myself without fearing the age and how to celebrate my personality through all life phases.
When I was very young I was afraid of growing up and I read with disbelief about how older women were feeling more secure over 30 and how they won't turn back to their younger ages, well now I know they were right and I feel more comfortable!
Love xxxxx

señora Allnut said...

such a great post, so glad you've written it with your honest and wise style, it's wonderful to share that fabulous attitude!, because it doesn't matter if you're growing old (with all its little ailments, sigh!), you're still You and can express yourself through personal style!, love that we're not 'fashion relevant' but really Genuine!
besos auténticos

Melanie said...

I find it hard to believe that you don't turn heads when you enter a room. In fact, I don't believe it! You just have that thing that cannot be named...a rare gift. YOU are the model. At least with aging, as one thing goes another thing gets better - I keep telling myself that!

Vix said...

Amen to that! You are one hell of a writer and I don't believe it when you say you don't turn heads when you enter a room,you've style, sass and bucket loads of attitude and if that doesn't make people sit up and notice then that's their loss.
I wasted a lot of time fretting about my looks as a kid, now I don't. As long as I'm fit and happy what's a few wrinkles and grey hairs? xxx

Franca said...

Love this post! also, you look awesome, not at all aged. Or chubby!

Kitty said...

You say what I think before I even knew I thought it. Almost every time.xx.

A Well Styled Life said...

Bravo Bella!! I've reached the age (thankfully) where others opinions of how I dress and look are of no importance! It took a while to get here and you've expressed the sentiment beautifully!!
I'd rather be confidently my age than insecurely 25 any day.
Love this honesty,
Jennifer

Amber of Butane Anvil said...

Beautiful friend, I love this dress, belt, and amazing rings.

None of us are immune to our culture's construction of ageing and weight as negatives, though life itself is hard enough (aches, losses, etc.) without that garbage. Who benefits from our buy-in to those ideas?

Thank you so much for all you do, both in celebration through the 40+ blogroll and by your very presence.

Shybiker said...

Yes. You've learned the lesson to aging well -- acceptance of our individuality, pride in our creation and joy that it will last as long as we live. At 80 years old, you'll still be the same Bella.

Many of us, especially women, mourn the loss of their (exterior) physical beauty. Fair enough, but after you cross that difficult emotional threshold, you realize... life goes on! The world is still open to exploring and adventure. All the qualities that matter -- the internal ones -- are still there. And, with new eyes, you'll see "old" people in their fifties and sixties who have more life in them than many twenty-year olds.

I'm sorry you're suffering from this transition. Most of us do. But it gets better. It really does.

Reva said...

God I love u Bella! We really do rock and you are so relevant, in fact-without your voice, your style and your beauty, the rest of us over 40's wouldn't have as much as an impact as we do!
Hugs hugs
Reeves

Reva said...

PS, I just finished reading all your comments and me thinks you are so loved ;)
Reeves

Carina Rosenholm said...

Such true and Beautiful Words! Just love you .

LV said...

This is such a good post. I wrote something very very similar and have not posted it yet. I agree with so much of what you wrote. I have felt like you so often, but I firmly believe that you can be fabulous at any age. I am so glad to have discovered your blog and to see such great style on someone I can relate to. *Hugs*

Keep it coming. Your blog is so relevant and fabulous.

spashionistareport said...

I understand how you feel, but consider this. It's very easy to be fashionable when you're young. Later in life it takes a woman who's secure about who she is to be fashion forward and unique.

As a fashion blogger who's a 50+ woman born with Cerebral Palsy I get snide comments from some of the younger woman and snubbed by some 40+ groups because I don't fit the "mold". There's nothing I can do about it except continue to be myself.

I think you're terrific, unique, and uplifting to the rest of us. That alone makes up for any other "sagging" you're experiencing! Be who you are, Bella ;-)

Spashionista (Alicia)

Jilly said...

Thank you so much! Can't say anymore, just thanks!

bucklebuttonzip.com said...

It's so great to read your words. They pop into my head too as I navigate my 40s. Putting yourself out there is not easy, but helps all of us. So thanks for saying it!

We love your posts and your style, and can't do without our Bella. Carry on!
x Laura

Lucy Nation said...

Love this post. It's your blog and it's OK to say how you really feel or to talk about your insecurities. We all have them regardless of age. I have hang ups about being in my thirties but I am generally much happier now then when I was in my teens and twenties. I supppose we are never truly happy with what we have. For the record, I think you look great. I would love to see some eighties pics of you rocking the Sade look! xxx

Wendy said...

Somedays the reality of aging can be a downer... My philosophy is that you can't beat it so you may as well embrace it. My best friend since the age of 14 (we are now 43 and 44) was depressed because we are no longer "young and carefree". My response "so what, now we'll just be old and carefree".

Besides, everyone knows that confidence and a good attitude are WAY hotter than taught skin- no matter what age you are.

Excellent post!!!

menopauselsupermodel said...

You spoke the word on so many of our hearts and minds!! Thanks!!!

Tamera Beardsley said...

Another thoughtful and inspiring post my dear! You are truly beautiful inside and out Bella!

Jamillah said...

First of all...I've seen you in real life and you are waaaaaay hard on yourself hear. You are friggin beautiful.

Secondly: "I want to share with you MY style, not that my style is particularly note worthy, but by doing so, I'd like to give you permission to share YOUR style. With yourself. With me. With your friends, your family, your community."

Best intentions I've ever read for a blog.

Heather Fonseca said...

Oh Bella, I so hate getting old. I always keep a happy tone on my blog because I want it to be positive, but there are so many times when I want to gripe. I love your honesty! Please keep it up. It's why I read every post.

Sacramento Amate said...

There are days when one feels the age, but most of the time is the clear head who rules.
Much love, my dear friend.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rosalind said...

I especially like Jean's comment (from Dross into Gold): "I love this Bella, right now....the direct gaze as she looks into the camera. Her intensity and intelligence, her commitment to humanity in ways that are uniquely hers. I have no idea what she looked like with a smaller waist; I just know she looks fabulous now."
So, if Jean was the voice of "big sister perspective", allow me to be the voice of little sister - it's people like you and the wonderful, diverse array of women of all ages that I encounter in the many blogs I read that inspire me and help me build my aspirations for how I want to be and grow. Thank you.

Krista Gassib said...

Bella this is so honest and relevant especially when winter makes us feel our age with all the renewed aches and pains coming back. I agree with everything you say here. I'd also like to add that it takes a more developed mind to pull off style vs. just showing a bunch of skin. It seemed when I was younger all I cared about was looking sexy, age and leaving CA gave me the right combo to develop my own style so in a way aging has improved how I look, at least temporarily.

The woman who influence me are not on television or even in my neighborhood, they are woman like you Bella and all the other beautiful aging gals in our blogging community. Being part of this group gives me the courage to try something new on and leave the house wearing it. Thank so sharing your heart with us and you fabulous self!
Iloveyagirl!
Xxxooo

sylvia @ 40PlusStyle said...

I hear you Bella! Yes I want to celebrate my age and style every day as well, but those little aches and pains that come with age, aaaaahhhhh You are looking mighty good though!

Lynn Dylan said...

Ahhhh, love that! I agree!!! Wholeheartedly. And you are beautiful!

xoxo
Lynn

issyvoo said...

This was lovely to read. I'm forty-two and I hear ya, sister. But, to add to that, I suffered a severe back injury almost five years ago that has left me with chronic pain, and disability, and caused me to go up several clothing sizes. Aging plus sudden disability? A double whammy. I started a style blog as a means of reclaiming my love of beauty and telling myself I deserve it, just as I am, NOW.

This post is about aging:
http://www.sublimemercies.com/2013/01/the-beauty-in-getting-older.html

This one explains the whole disability thing, among other things:
http://www.sublimemercies.com/p/about.html

Beauty Fashion Skin Care Blog - Girlie Blog Seattle said...

Thank you for this post. Individuality - the real definition of being fashionable.

Ulla-Marie Nilsson said...

Wise and honestly. We want even more pictures of you!

Ulla-Marie Nilsson said...

... although I'm so uncoordinated that I do not get how to get a translationbutton. hrmpf

The Dainty Dolls House said...

Loved! Doesn't matter the age, as long as you love yourself and live life to the fullest you can!! xx

jill815 said...

What a damn good post. I just love you my dear Bella! And, AHEM, I DID A DOUBLETAKE when I saw you standing in the rain, outside the subway stop in Brooklyn, and I was so nervous! Because I thought, Bella is so stylish and gorgeous I am not nearly cool enough to meet her! And then you were so gracious and charming to me and everyone you met that rainy September night, it was like a double dose of wonderful. You are the best! XO, Jill

Judy said...

I loved this post so much. More than that, I needed it. Thank you!

Mary Lou said...

oh i love this outfit to pieces! what a fabulous dress and the heart printed tights are the icing of the cake!
kiss,mary
http://www.maryloucinnamon.com/

grunge-queen said...

I admire your honesty, Bella, and, like so many of the other ladies who have commented above me, I can relate to the angst I've felt over my aging (42-year old) bod and face. But, aside from radical surgery and injections, which I'd never do, there's not much I can do but stay healthy and fit, accept what can't be changed, and, yes, celebrate what age and (hopefully!) wisdom has brought me - which is the strongest sense of self I've felt, ever (would so not go back to the thoughtless and oblivious 20s). I often have to remind myself of these things when I see cellulite on my legs that wasn't there two years ago, but thankfully living in France has also changed my perspective for the better as there doesn't seem to be the built-in cultural hate-on for the aging woman here. It's a refreshing change from the youth-obsessed culture to which I'm sure we're all accustomed. And for the record, you are so very pretty, have a lovely figure ... and I would love some of your cheek volume! xo

Forest City Fashionista said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you Bella. I understand the emotions and thoughts behind this post very well as I have had the exact same ones many times over the past couple of years. Don't stop what you do, because the world needs those of us who are past the "perky and fresh-faced" stage, but who rock our own style with confidence, sass and wit!

Helga! said...

Fantasmo post,babes!!!
You rock!XXX

Mflores422 said...

LOVE this post. 4 years away from 40 myself..I have to admit, I keep hearing/reading things about aging that scare the crap out of me. Even a few things in your very honest post. But more than that, I find this inspriring and thank you for sharing so openly. You touched on my biggest fear (more than losing my waist or the wrinkles) - losing 'me'. I am hopeful I will always find myself within.

Alison (Wardrobe Oxygen) said...

AMEN SISTER!!!!!!!!!!

It's funny how people think that because you have a blog, you find yourself to be a model or the most fashionable person on the planet. They're so wrong wrong wrong. Blogs are great because unlike the magazines and runways, bloggers are real people with real lives, and real budgets. Your blog is fantastic BECAUSE you are Bella, fabulous Bella. Bella who admits she is human, but also admits she is pretty fabulous. So thank you for this fabulous post and your inspiring blog.

Turned 38 Monday and went to the doctor to get a full physical the week prior because I just didn't feel good. The blood tests, the EKG, etc. came back completely normal. His diagnosis? I hate to tell you this, but you're getting older. That diagnosis actually made me feel better because it's a part of life, and this life is pretty fantastic, gray hairs and all!

Thank you.

CityScape Skybaby said...

Love this blog Bella, it was just what I needed to hear to buck me up and cheer me up again. By the way, I would kill to have your chubby cheeks, so don't knock them! xx

Schmetterling said...

I'm bookmarking this blog because of this post. (First time reader) At 41 I can totally relate! It's really hard to find blogs that feature those of us in this age group. Thanks for being awesome, and real. :)

Sue Walker said...

I'm a first time reader too and will bookmark this blog after reading your fantastic post. However.....you're kidding aren't you? Or you've airbrushed the photos?!! I can't see ANY of the signs of age that you mentioned and there's no way you look 40!

I'm an over-60 blogger myself (Over60andoverhere!) - and I know that I'm getting older if I peer too closely at myself in the mirror - so I avoid looking too closely in the mirror!

Glad to know that you're going to keep on blogging - I look forward to reading more.

Susan Partlan said...

I struggle with this too but I AM having fun and being myself. It feels great! I was never a fashionista and barely get style, but I get some of it, and enjoy it :).

Cloud of Secrets said...

Bella, Bella! This outfit is so smokin' hot -- I'm coveting the whole thing, although I haven't the courage for heart tights. ;-) And I love and prefer it when women are a little "banged up and dented," with crooked smiles and textured faces, expressive with the experiences and thoughts of their years.

I would *so* much rather see fashion on "real" women of a certain age, nicely groomed and fitted to the nines, than on perfectly taut teens and young twentysomethings. I get bored with all the perfect gleaming legs and arms and perfect pretty (by 2013 standards) young faces in magazines. *Yawn* Show me some texture, some imperfections, some vibrance, uniqueness, and LIFE.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails